Top three tips to quiet your Inner Critic
Let me start by saying what I am about to talk about here is UNIVERSAL. Every single human has this problem. So, there’s THAT.
Every time somebody comes to me for a tarot reading, dollars to donuts they are looking for a way around or through a block of some kind. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So, what’s going on here? Well, I have a few theories, but there is one thing… JUST ONE.. that comes up over and over again for people.
NEGATIVE MIND MUTTERINGS. Otherwise known as your INNER CRITIC.
It goes something like this:
YOU: I have this great idea to write a book/launch a business/create a new thing!
INNER CRITIC: Ha! You? You’re not ready to do that! Nobody will listen to you! You will be in financial ruin over such a stupid idea.
Or any variation thereof.
But how can you tell if this voice is truly your Inner Critic, or your actual reason that is trying to sort out if you should do said scary thing or not? Well, there are a few ways to help determine this:
1. Is the voice harsh? If the answer is YES, than it is likely your Inner Critic.
2. Is the tone of this voice frantic and fearful? If this voice’s tone is in the “freak out” range, BOOM, Inner Critic.
3. Worst-case-scenerio thinking. If this voice goes from, “Gee, that might be fun” to “You’ll ruin your life!” in a nano second… prolly your IC.
What would your actual inner wisdom sound like? Well, it might go something like this:
YOU: I have this great idea to write a book/launch a business/create this new thing.
INNER WISDOM: I wonder if I am ready yet to do that? I will start to research tomorrow on what exactly I need to know to move ahead. Maybe I can start with a blog and go from there?
See the difference in tone? First of all the first voice is all doom-and-gloom and panic, the second voice is curious and calm. This is KEY. So, pay attention to that when you are starting to reach the edges of your own comfort zone.
The thing is that your Inner Critic voice is actually a protective mechanism. It is the part of your brain that is hooked up to your primitive fears. Some people call this voice their Inner Lizard, because all it is doing is alerting you to some imaginary danger and trying to keep you safe from harm, misguided though this Lizard is. So, knowing this can actually help you to tame it. You will never get rid of it, it is a part of how your inner mind works, but you can learn to work with it. Read on, my Poppet.
Now, if I could count how many times this f-ing voice of my Inner Critic has held me back in my life, lord, I would run out of numbers.
And this goes for every other human too, by the way. Read about any successful person, politician, celebrity, business guru, you will hear the same thing over and over. “Oh, sometimes I hear this nagging voice of….” and then they list the litany of abuse that this voice unleashes whenever you want to try something new, bold, or great.
Here’s the thing, though. How does that mean that YOU are actually holding YOURSELF back, if this stupid voice seems to just yammer on and on without any way of you controlling it?
Because you can actually control it.
One of the most important things I have learned in the last three or so years is that I have the ability to turn down the volume on my Inner Critic. Not forever, but for long enough to do that scary thing. Okay, so how do I do this? There are a few ways. One of the first things you can do is to create a persona for this voice. Actually create a character for it. Mine is this older lady, with the long red nails, and she chain smokes. She sits in her cluttered kitchen only lit by a beaded fringed lamp. She has that gravelly voice from all the smoking, and boy does she ever love The Bingo, she calls it “Going to Church.” Ugh.
(In fact, she’s doing it right now! Sharza is all up in my face about this very blog post, “Nobody is going to read it, let alone share it. (cough, hack, wheeze, cough) It’s all been said before. (waves cigarette at me)” but I have worked with the volume knob tool so much that her voice is never loud enough for me to hear, I get occasional blasts of words, but I just ignore her. Secretly, she kind of loves this blog post, cuz she thinks it’s all about HER, but whatever. Sigh. )
ANYway, here are your TOP THREE TIPS to quieting your Inner Critic, and trust me when I say… THEY WORK.
1. I imagine a huge volume knob that controls this voice, I then literally turn the volume down and just let her blather on so I can only here a murmer. Then SHE’S happy because she can keep launching missiles of shame and humiliation my way, but I can’t actually really hear it. Done and done.
2. I send her to bingo. When I first started to do this one, I would physically get up from my chair and pretend to walk her out the door, hand her fifty bucks and send her to a smoke filled bingo hall. This would give me about two hours of blissful peace so I could get some work done that required me to be vulnerable and brave.
3. Give them the “head pat”. You just need to say,”Hey, thanks for the heads up, but I got this. You don’t need to worry your ugly little head about this, like at all.”
I know you can do these things. You know how I know? Because if you live in, you know, THE WORLD, you are always inundated with noise and you manage to filter it out 100% to have a conversation, or make a purchase, or talk on the phone if you have kids (or husbands) that are trying to talk to you. AMIRIGHT?!
Your Inner Monkey Mind chatter is like that.
So, sleigh your Self Doubt machine right now, because you know what? You are allowing it to block you from your own personal greatness. A greatness, whatever that looks like for you, is needed on this planet. We need you to play as big as you can in this world, to shine brightly your unique divine light all over humanity.
Now go.
Be brave.
Be great.
Shine on, you crazy diamond.
And if you need support and guidance on slaying your own Personal Self Doubt Dragon, I can help.
